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I'm getting rid of my Netflix account after this month.

I nearly did when they doubled their prices and split the streaming and DVD rental services. I didn't and eventually ended up just nixing the DVD rentals because I rarely got to them in any kind of timely fashion. I have used the streaming feature quite a lot, though. That's mostly a problem.

In the last month I've watched three complete series on Netflix, one episode after the other, and it has seriously punched a hole in my productivity. Most times, I sit watching something with a guitar in hand running scales or noodling along with whatever music happens to pop up. It's a surprisingly good way to practice some things but it can't be used in place of proper guitar practice all the time. Additionally, my writing is really being neglected in favor of how easily distracted I am by moving pictures summoned up on my computer screen. It's like candy, dammit. I really need to put a stop to it.

Any time I neglect my arts I tend to beat myself up about not being good enough at them. This is a poison to me since I've often been so achievement-oriented in my life. I often worry that on some sort of objective basis I'm plain not skilled enough at the arts I pursue. I know this is by no means unique to me. I know, also, that others have it much worse than I do to the point of being crippled by it on a mostly full-time basis.

I just need to eliminate distraction is all.

Jara-hoom!

Sep. 25th, 2012 07:36 am
ghosthound: (Default)
I say, and not for the first time in my life, that I really need to get off social networking media.

The problem with this is that I can't just quit it altogether. I've managed to land paying gigs from something as simple as noticing somebody I haven't seen since highschool is getting married via Facebook and sliding in with "hey, you remember how I play guitar? You do? Fantastic. See, I also do weddings..." A little thing like that ends up making me $500 for playing some variation of Clapton's "You Look Wonderful Tonight" or some pretty tune here or there and then getting drunk at an open bar after.

It doesn't happen every month. Truth told, it's only happened in the summer. I've managed to land some gigs booked for a local Catholic church playing some religious songs. I usually have to do some song-and-dance about how I'm totally Catholic, baptized and everything. Where was I baptized? St. Bernadette's in Atlanta. Small church. Intimate affair it was. Nothing could be farther from the truth, though. I wasn't raised in a family that cared much about religion. My mother had her moment of feeling like maybe the Catholic church was a good idea and DID have me randomly baptized but the religion that held most sway in our house more closely resembled animism.

Church gigs, that I got off fucking Facebook pay $600 for an hour, though. I have four of them booked already. That will pay a lot of bills come December.

Facebook is also good for promoting my own personal gigs and all that happy business as well. It's really a useful tool if employed correctly. The problem is the damned chat feature. I'm terribly easy to distract with that. A friend of mine messages me and it's back to how AIM distracted me during the halcyon days before Facebook emerged. I've been known to waste HOURS on that shit. Facebook chat is no different.

It's got to be an exercise in willpower, really. I've got to just limit my time on the website to short, concise fifteen-minute bursts that allow me to check my messages, network, post something amusing and then leave and go do important things like practice guitar, write fiction, read a fucking book or anything else.

In other news, I was off tonight. Nights off are always strange when you work a third-shift job. Normally, I'm used to getting all of my daily stuff done before I go to work at eleven, coming home from work at seven, being up until ten and then crashing until four in the afternoon. My time when I return from work is usually spent reading or watching anime or something relaxing unless I didn't complete my basic daily requirements of practice time, word count, meditation, daily rituals and exercise if it's one of the weekdays during which I do that.

Tonight, I wasted a lot of the time on Facebook chatting with friends. I went out with some people for late-night food, coffee and discussion. The topics of discussion centered mostly around self defense. I used to practice martial arts but have been really lazy the past few years. So lazy, in fact, that the idea of starting it again is kind of daunting. Still, the conversation led me down the path of wanting to do it. I may just. If I do, you'll read about it here, no doubt.

We ate at a local coffee shop out here in my little corner of the world. Its walls are an AWFUL shade of yellow and it's decorated with a theme matching that of my old highschool, a place I hardly attended if I was to be entirely honest. I always feel odd there in my leather jacket and stereotypical coffee-guzzling goth kid misanthropy against the backdrop of my old highschool's colors. It makes me feel like I'm trying too hard. I don't know that I'm trying to do anything at all there, though, beyond killing myself with caffeine. It's my coffin, after all, I'd like my shot at nailing it.

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ghosthound

January 2013

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